Toyota Tundra Forum

Two Lions were eating a dead Clown for lunch. One Lion said to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

Fred went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.

'Why not?' asked Fred.

'Because it's not safe,' replied the doctor.


'But I need it really bad,' said Fred.

'Well, why do you need it so badly?' asked the doctor.

Fred said,
'My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday;
my ex-wife will be here on Saturday;
and my wife is coming home on Sunday.
Can't you see? I must have a double dose.'

The doctor finally relented saying, 'Okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.'

On Monday, Fred dragged himself in; his right arm was in a sling.

The doctor asked, 'What happened to you?'

Fred replied, 'Nobody showed up.'

__________________
Any questions about truck mods I have done need to be asked in the forums. Don't send me a private message about mods cause I probably won't answer that PM unless there is money involved.

2007 SR5 Crewmax 5.7L 4x4
Mods: nerf bars, Truxedo tonneau, radar detector power, 3M clear bra, fog lights, black billet grille, rear differential breather, parking sensors, Line-X, power tailgate lock, hood safety latch mod, one off driving lights behind grille, Pioneer NAV w/ OEM camera, Flowmaster 50 SUV dual/dual, blue LED dash lights, Volant CAI, Llumar tint, CompuStar Pro alarm, ProComp 6066 20" wheels, Cooper Zeon LTZ 275/60/20 tires, OME HD coilover lift, Firestone helper air bags, 55w reverse lights, stereo cable lock, Tekonsha P3 brake controller, colormatched exterior parts (de-chromed truck), eDead sound proofing, CDT Audio speakers, Custom made speaker brackets, Weathertech floor mats
All mod descriptions and pictures © 2007-2009 by Toxarch. They may be copied only for personal use and the mods may be done for non-profit only.

A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer dead without a moment's hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him dead also.

Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man, with his eyes diverted to the floor, tentatively raised his hand and said, "I think my wife may have caught a glimpse of you."

__________________

2007 Tundra Limited Double Cab 4x4 Super White
Volant CAI
Pioneer AVIC Z-2 (hard drive upgrade to AVIC Z-3)
Key FOB Tailgate Lock (courtesy of Toxarch)
OEM back-up camera w/flip down monitor microswitch mod
Sirius Satellite Radio
WeatherTech Floor Liners
20" OEM alloy wheels
Line-X Bed liner
UWS Black Powdercoat Low Profile Toolbox
DU-HA underseat storage unit
JC Whitney Black Nerf Bars
Lund Interceptor II Bug Shield
Tekonsha Voyager Brake Controller

Rar, im upset:-) hehe good one!

__________________
TRD Exhaust
TRD Sway Bar
Volant Intake
Hertz Hi-Energy front and rear
Hertz Energy-Power Amp 4-Channel
JL Audio 10w7
Massive D Class Amp
Valentine One Radar
Pioneer D3 DVD NAV
12k 55W HID Low Beam
3k 35W HID Fog Light
Piaa Ion Fog Light
22" Vortex 305/45/22 Goodyear

The United States Border Patrol is asking citizens to keep on the lookout for a red 1951 Chevy that they suspect is being used to smuggle illegal immigrants across the border from Mexico and into points along the U.S. Border. If you see the vehicle pictured below and have reason to believe that it is the suspect vehicle, you are urged to contact your local police department or the U. S. Border Patrol.

__________________
'10 CM SR5 4x2, S.A. Built & Purchased Sept '09, 5.7L, Sandy Beach Metallic, Drug Information in Lay Language

^^^That's pretty funny!

__________________
07 DC SR5 Long Bed Desert Pyrite Mica, folding rear seat mod, Raptor step bars, OEM back-up camera, "iPod in the ashtray", Toytec 3" leveling kit

Two men were driving through Texas when they got pulled over by a Texas State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK," the cop smacked him in the forehead with his nightstick. "What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in Texas, son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in Texas, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer" the driver said, "I'm from New York and didn't know your laws here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back.
The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," the trooper smacks him on the forehead with the nightstick. 'What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.
"Just making sure your wish comes true," replied the trooper. "Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know you New Yorkers," the trooper says, "two miles down the road you're going to turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that a-hole would've tried that crap with me!"

Subject: Counseling for Golfers

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!

Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.

A hardened old Texas cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?,' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to town, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker, kicked him in the groin, then smacked his face ... kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, any of your other biker pansys want some of this?'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago….....' replied the cowboy!

Nice one.